Give up
by Define-Sanity
Summary: number 93 on the 100 themes challenge. Merida is feeling low, and Jack reveals a secret. (modern au)


_Fun fact. I'm attempting the 100 themes challenge again, this time centering around the big four. (but mostly hijack because otp hhmmmmmyessss._

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Merida sighed, her figure slumped low enough on the worn couch that her back rested on the seat. On any other night, the sight would have been comical. But tonight there was a solom air about the room that seemed to increase with each of the girl's progressively louder sighs.

Jack had tried his best to pry the information out of the girl, but to no avail. As of late, he simply settled for joining her company with a half empty bottle cheap red wine perched on his lap. He had offered to share, but the flavour didn't suit the young woman, who much preferred the strong tastes of stolen whisky from her father's liquor cabinet. Now that she had reached the legal age of 21, Merida had found that alcohol didn't quite taste the same without the thrill of getting caught.

Jack rose the bottle to his lips, and accidentally spilt a few drops up beneath his nose. He never was a graceful drinker, not that he particularly cared, especially on a rainy Sunday evening alone in his own home. "Shit.." He mumbled, wiping his upper lip and pinching his nose to rid it of the sting in his nostrils. "Fuck.."

Merida glanced over, turning her head just enough to catch a glimpse of the man as he struggled with his drink. She blinked, growing bored quickly and turning her attention back to the flickering television.

Another half hour passed in silence, only the sound of another sitcom rerun to keep the two company. During this time Jack had nursed the bottle down to only about a third; a feat that had taken him since 6 pm. Now the hour was 9:15 precisely, and it had also been the longest the two had ever been in silence in the same room.

Jack had found himself growing irritated, but he had made the choice to keep his opinions to himself. Unlike Rapunzel, Merida was not one to be tested, and tonight was definetely not going to end well if he decided to behave as he normal would have. It may have been the alcohol that had made him more brazen, but anyone who knew the boy well enough to have earned his ear would have known better.

"So.." He drawled, taking another sip from his bottle. "Are we going to ignore the elephant in the room orr…..?" Merida watched him out of the corner of her eye, and sighed.

"I told you. I don't want to talk about it." She spoke with a definete tone, but still the man pressed on.

"Fair enough, but I think the constant sighing and moping is cause for concern, and plus the quiet is freaking me out."

She paused, her fingers knitting into the fabric of her pajama pants, stretching the images of green kittens and purple puppies that danced across her thighs to impossible porprotions. "I'm not moping." She said through gritted teeth. Jack just hummed and pressed his ring finger into the lip of the bottle until his second knuckle disappeared through the tinted glass.

"Gotcha.."

"I mean.. Its not like I have any need to." Merida pressed on. "I'm not moping I'm just mad."

"I see."

"So I don't want to talk about it."

"I understand."

"…."

Another silence passed between them and during this time Jack seemed transfixed with the bottle between his knees. Just as he opened his mouth to speak, Merida interrupted him.

"I mean, It's just… Fuck." She pressed the heels of her hands into her eye sockets and pressed hard enough for stars to dance behind her eyelids. "It's not fair.."

"What is?"

Merida sighed again, the sound becoming more strained, and aggressive each time she did so. "I didn't want any of them. But now I can't find anybody."

This caught Jack's attention, and he lazily looked over to the distressed woman beside him. "Come again?"

"Those blokes from high school! The ones my mum wanted me to date!" She blurted out, looking at Jack as if he should have already known. Jack opened his mouth and closed it again, tossing his eyes all about the room as he struggled to think.

"Ri-"

"And now, I have my freedom, but no one cares anymore. I moved out, yeah. I'm going to school, but I'm failing and i can't find a job, can't get a date, what am I supposed to do? Where is my life going to go?"

"I thought you didn't want to d-"

"I just… UGH! I'm so frustrated."

"I see that."

"And the worst part is.. It's like no one cares… I mean.." Now Merida looked at him differently. The anger seeped from her voice, a twinge of desperation lingering in her tone. Her shoulders slumped and her eyes seemed almost sad. "What am I going to do in this world? Do I even matter? I mean.. You want to be a teacher.. Rapunzel wants to go do some.. fashion thing with her makeup, and it doesn't matter what Hiccup wants because he's smart enough to do anything! What about me? If I die tomorrow what will it say on my tombstone? Do I even matter?"

The question hung in the air like a thick fog. Jack blinked, staring at her wide eyed with the neck of his bottle of wine clutched in his left hand. He thought for what seemed like hours, when in reality it was no more than a minute.

He sighed heavily, and leaned back against the back of the couch and let out a low whistle. "My my princess… Heavy stuff you got there.." Merida grunted, following his lead and letting her body slump into the cushions.

"Not even.." She mumbled, holding out her hand to him.

Jack placed the bottle in her hand without question, and watched her take a sip out of the corner of his eye.

"You know.." He began, his fingers nervously drumming the arm of the couch. "You remember in senior year.. You called me that one time, and invited me over.. Took me over two hours to make it to your place. Pretty sure I was a wreak, but I got there."

"You're always a wreak. Gimme specifics, or tell me where you're going with this."

"Specifics don't matter. The point is you saved my life that day."

It was now Merida's turn to sit in stunned silence. She looked over to the man, his chin now resting in his palm as he leaned against the arm rest. He seemed to be intensely interested in the television, but Merida knew better. "What are you talking about?" She asked, her eyebrows knitting together in an odd mix of concern and confusion.

"I mean what I said. You saved my life."

"How? I mean.. I don't remember ever saving your life frostbite." She teased, adopting a joking tone to mask the knot that twisted in her stomach.

"Senior year, shortly before prom. I had a fight with my dad, and I couldn't stop thinking about all that… well.. It's not about what lead up to it, but let's just say a lot of shit happened and I felt like rock bottom. So what I did was climb all the way up the stairs to the top floor of my apartment, pry open the hatch that lead onto the roof, and stand on the very edge and watch the traffic across the street."

"I was weighing the pros and cons of jumping. On one hand, it would end everything. On the other… It would end /everything./ So I decided to wait. It took a long time, and I know because my legs went numb. I almost jumped, but then my phone rang, and it was you. I don't remember what you wanted, or why I answered, but I'm glad I did because you reminded me that I had friends. I had people who actually gave a damn about me."

Merida listened and felt sick to her stomach. "Shit.. Jack-"

"I don't feel that way anymore. I mean.. Sometimes I do, but not as often as I used to. Things aren't like they were before.. and.. And I'm getting off track. The point is, you don't always see the difference you make, but someone else is sure to. You hear me?"

She nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat.

"There you go. What is it you always say? Wee lamb, right?" Jack earned another nod, and a choked chuckle.

"You little shit.." Merida managed to force out. "You never told me."

Jack shrugged. "Never needed to until now. But don't forget there are people who need you here."


End file.
